If only I could translate the weather to you through this blog, then maybe you could understand my mood this week. There was a big change in the weather this week, and I wonder if it affected my mood in a way. On wednesday, as I stood shivering at the bus stop at Torokbalint after my lesson in J&J (in which my student got to drive off in his warm car), I couldn't help thinking that 冬天真的很讨厌。

In the weeks leading up to this, I've been having sort of feeling that 生活真的很难。Decisions decisions that had to be made, not immediately but eventually which did not help my feelings much. I also got really frustrated when I tried to seek advice from people I thought I could get rational advice from, but ended getting a cliche talk which I blew up at. Wednesday night, after I got home, I made my decision and I acted on it the next day. But to be honest, if I'm able to express myself fully, that decision was just a step into the future, and not a solution to my fears. So I still have to make many other decisions, so the stress is still there.

In 2 weeks time, it will be November, which marks the 9th month that I've been living in Europe. It's been a long journey for me. Now is the time that I'm starting to say goodbyes to people. Some are friends I've made in Europe, some are colleagues I've worked with for a while. And yet on other hand, I make new friends every now and then, and hear of friends who have made the move to Europe as well. This has had a push and pull dual effect on me. 这时候，我会想： 如果生活没有那么复杂， 那就好了。 But unfortunately as we all know, life is never easy.
How can I sum up my feelings now? I still want to see new cities, new things, go to new areas. But perhaps I feel that the wild side of me is dying down? I feel restless. But restless for some stability. But I don't know the specifics. I don't know the details. I still am not sure what I have to do to achieve the peace that I want. I just know this. The urge is still there. My mind continually thinks of new ways to travel, new things to do. So I'll just continue to follow the urge, despite the winter blues...

Quote: Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.... Helen Keller